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A journal of rambletastic proportions.

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I dream vividly and I think I may have mentioned this already. I feel that dreams help me work through things that are going on within my life. I don't feel that dreams tell the 'future' but I have had two dreams recently that have weirded me out.

A few months ago I dreamt that Alison and I went to Disneyland and her boyfriend came with us because he had the power to become invisible. The Disneyland in my dream was drab and cold and the ground was dirt like a gross fairground. It started to rain and I could spot Tyler's footsteps in the mud behind us. This made me angry because I thought he was going to get us kicked out of the park. We made our way to the Tower of Terror - my favorite ride. I was so excited to show Alison this one because I thought the detail in it was incredible and figured she would appreciate it as well. She suddenly left the ride and I woke up.
About a month later (in real life) I found out that there was indeed a trip to Disneyland planned. However, I was not in attendance. Strange coincidence, no?

Two nights ago I had a dream where I was at a house party on the beach. It was hosted by a guy I had gone to high school named Joel Helland. Joel was in the 'popular' group while I was in middle and highschool and we had never really mixed or interacted. While I have no actual bad memories of him I cannot say that I have any good ones. So - in my dream he comes up to me and tells me to get out of his house. He's very angry and shows me a piece paper. He'd been working on a top ten list of people that he hated and I was listed as number seven. He told me that he had hated me since high school and he'd always wanted to tell me so. He threw me out of the house and I was very embarrassed and sad and crying.

Today, in real life, I went to the beach with my friend Steve to watch him skimboard. Later in the evening a few friends of Steve showed up and came over to talk to us. One of them said, "Oh hey, Kim! How are you?" and swear to Jesus it was Joel Helland. I was still reeling from my dream so the first thing I said was, " I JUST had a dream about you" which was a little awkward. I told him about it and we all agreed it was funny and weird. What I found even stranger was that he was genuinely interested in my life and what I was doing. In highschool he probably wouldn't have even said hi. When he left he said, "We'll have to hang out sometime and catch up on life! It was so good seeing you."
I told my dad this story over dinner and he told me that high school makes people crazy and that once we're all out of there for a few years we get our sanity back and realize that people are just people.

Today was a good day.

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Last year when we were camping at Fintry I asked Shane a question in the game of truth or dare. First, I had asked him what the worst thing he’d ever done to a friend before. He refused to answer. I then asked him what the worst thing a friend had ever done to him was. I knew the answer right away. I knew it had to be about when Justin had cut Shane and Josh out of his life so completely when they had once been so close. It was, of course.

            I sat in the tent and thought about the worst thing a friend had ever done to me and couldn’t think of a good answer. One time I hadn’t been invited to a birthday party in ninth grade but this was not very hurtful and it certainly had not cut me to the core so that I was still feeling it to the day. I didn’t have to answer because I had not been asked.


            Today, if I were asked at all, I would have my answer.

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Oh hello.

Project 'Get Fit' is still going strong - except I'm finding it hard to eat healthier. I find that working in a kitchen and cooking all day results in me not wanting to cook when I get home. This means that I often eat out. Boo for that.
I went to the gym twice this week and my foster mom thinks I have asthma. Really. Tomorrow I'm taking my nephew to the pool and we'll see how he likes it.
I'm pretty much in love with a German hip-hop band called Fettes Brot. I have my german prof to thank for that. They did a cover of the 'Joker' by the Steve Miller Band called 'The Grosser'. The vid's pretty cute.

Exams will be done on Friday and I will be out dancing my shoes off - see you there?

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Tommorrow's the day!
Tommorrow I step back into the routine of full-time college student and will be on my way to making something of this (almost) wasted life.
How different my outlook is this time. This time I know where I want to go. This time I will actually want to be there in class. And this time I'm not going to waste my time.
Wish me luck?
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"'What does my smile look like now?' Vivi wondered, 'Can you reclaim that free-girl smile, or is it like virginity- once you loose it, that's it?'"   - Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.

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Pretty lame request...

My boy sails and I want to make him a mix of sailing songs.

It'd be cool of they were a mixture old sea shanties and just really neat songs mentioning ships or sailing or metaphors using sailing. Or, you know, whatever.


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I've decided to go 'friends only'. Mostly because I wanted to make an 'FO' banner for myself but also because I'd like to know who reads this. I don't have anything secret or special in here, I'm just really nosy and need to know about everything.

I'm not mean or anything, go ahead and comment, but I'm not promising anything cool.

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